Dear Chin-Ning Chu
My friend, Paddy, introduced me to one of your books, "Thick Face And Black Heart". It was an inspiring experience. I could not put the book downuntil I have read it word for word.
When I watched you on the tape addressing A.S.T.D. I saw a woman of arrogant simplicity and tender callousness in perfect balance. "perfect". You were dominant but knew how and when to yield. The symbol of an open colorful chinese fan mounted on its back, a sharp steel dagger kept flashing in front of my face. "As gentle as a cool breeze and as sharp as steel. I think that it is an appropriate symbol for you or at least that is how I see you.
As Paddy told you, I am a psychiatrist, born and educated in Egypt. It is also a country of long history and tradition although we have lost our fighting spirit over the last twenty-six centuries, which is not a long time in Egyptian terms. Since the forties we are trying to revive that spirit through the Somori tradition. As in my old country we have a great admiration to China and India, the origin of Buddhism.
You are bringing a new outlook to the Northern American culture. When I look as an outsider, I find that I am living in a culture that moves with dazzling speed, being able to stop for brief periods of civilization. Maybe your ideas, and your grace will bring something badly needed to the North American culture. I think you are a inspiration to the human race.
I have some difficulty obtaining your books through the stores. I would appreciate it if you send me a copy of your books, "Work Less, Achieve More" and "The Rain Maker", accompanied with your invoice. I would be honored if you could sign them for me.
Hope to see you soon in San Diego.
Date: Monday, November 08, 1999 2:42 AM
Subject: Chin-Ning's Reply
Greeting Dr. S,
I have received 10,000 letters in over 40 countries and no one has described me "as gentle as a cool breeze, and as sharp as steel". I think besides being a psychiatrist, born and educated in the ancient culture of Egypt has definitely provided you with a unique scope into the human psyche. I'm honored of your praise and am looking forward to the future opportunity of learning from you. The North American culture can benefit from the three oldest civilizations of the world, Egypt, India and China.
I am sure sometime, somewhere we'll meet in person. Until then, live in God's grace.
P.s. Please e-mail me with your contacting phone number for our records.
9th September 1999
Dear Chin-Ning Chu
I was a victim of cancer, I was diagnosed with malignant bowel cancer on the 18th January 1998 seemed strange after having spent 35 years managing a business in the Brisbane fresh fruit market, as everything I ate was fresh.
When my superior was informed of my condition he was very sympathetic, was sure I would not survive, and a short while later, asked me to resign. I was deeply hurt, so I promptly handed in my resignation.
As time rolled by my physical and mental health declined. Modern medical doctors could not help me, I had a tremendous feeling of guilt, and I was constantly fatigued.
To put the last 12 months of my life into a few words, I found two things, Usana and Chin-Ning Chu. As I write to you I am not only mentally fine, I am also physically fine. The gentleman who asked for my resignation recently offered me a position back in the company, he realized that I was not going to die (lust yet, god willingl) I declined his offer. I am writing to you not only to thank you but to ask if you know about
Usana, if you do than I am very happy for you, if you don't than I am very happy for me Look forward to your reply
Lots of love and thanks
Date: Tuesday, February 15, 2000 7:52 AM
I bought myself your book and read it right away (and have alreadyrecommended it to several people). Being a person who feels compelled to do, rather be I'm having trouble adapting your lessons to making a career transition. I guess my question is how does one know how much action to take vs. how much should one rely on meditation. I can appreciate the notion of meditating everyday for more awareness but how do I look for a new opportunity and be true to your principals.
Your suggestions would be most welcome!
Date: Thursday, March 02, 2000 10:38 AM
Subject: Re: Chin-Ning's Reply to Ouestion
Thank you for your wonderful question regarding "How does one know how muchaction to take vs. how much should one rely on meditation?"
The purpose of meditation is for you to be in line with the symmetry of the universe. To be in touch with that perfect balance, perfect harmony, and perfect goodness within you. This allows you to do your action from that attitude and understanding. In short, it is not that meditation will replace your work, rather it will help you focus. What you do will most likely be the right thing to do. By meditating regularly, this will allow you to do the work relaxed, non-attached, surrendering while with a laser beam-like meditative focus.
Dear Ms. Chu,
I have recently finished with the reading of "The Secrets of the Rainmaker", while previously I have read "The Asian Mind Game" and "Thick Face, Black Heart". I am still studying the latter, as I find it most interesting. Permit me to congratulate you on these superbly written books, as they provide me with many matters to think about and research.
I have been trying to, should I say, "evolve" myself into a more balanced person. And have read many books on psychology and philosophy. Needless to say, they do not do much in terms of complimenting each other, and that separation is not what can aid me. However, your books integrate many a discipline into well researched and wonderfully written text. I would not consider "Thick Face, BLACK Heart" a guiding book. While at one level it is a guide, it is mostly a maze, pointing to the reader where he needs to be, from where he was lost in the beginning, but it Leaves the reader to explore the possibilities of getting there by him/herself. And I find that wonderful. While in essence we are all the same, we cannot touch that essence by words, and thereby cannot be directly guided by text, however, we can use the text as a sentinels, marking the points which we ourselves will experience by not merely understanding, but feeling, through You, the path we should take.
I would say I am a complicated person, result of many years of unfortunate situations, and am now in search of emptiness, the Void as you call it, that form of simplicity to which we all belong. Your book is aiding me in this search greatly.
I regret inwardly, the fact, that I am not able to meet with you in person, however, if it is to be, I hope it will be in near future. I would be truly delighted to discuss with you the many aspects of your book, and myriad of other matters.
Now, the reason I wanted to write to you, was to inquire what other books you have written, as I would like to buy them, if they are in print here in Australian market.
Australian bookstores are of no help in this matter. I would appreciate it greatly if you could reply to this.
Again, I thank you for sharing your knowledge, as it is an invaluable insight into the areas which we should all be able to experience. I admire your courage and determination, and I trust that one day soon, I will be wielding both with the samevigor and success as you.
Ps: as you have shared details of your Life, I feel obliged to do the same in some way : I am 21 year old male, originally born in former Yugoslavia, left shortly after the war started in 92, and lived in New Zealand, from 93 to 98, upon which I moved to Australia, while at present we have not met, I would like to develop a closer acquaintance with you, and I hope you will allow me that privilege.
Date: Monday, January 24, 2000 6:48 PM
Subject: Light from a Guiding Lamp
How are you? I hope you still remember me. I wrote two e-mails to you a few months ago, titled "Dharma of Love", because I wanted to know your views on love and relationship.
You referred me to your Chinese book titled "How to Deal with Men". I placed an order for the book and eagerly awaited its arrival.
However, after reading it, I must admit that I'm puzzled, skeptical, and miserable. The mind is filled with questions on the application of the ideas in the book to my own love life. So here I am, writing to you again, in the hope that I can hear more from you.
At this point, I feel obliged to thank you for your time and patience in reading this. I apologize for its length, but your answers would mean much to me.
First, I think it's appropriate to give you a short profile of me. I am a twenty-three year old Chinese girl, and was born and bred in Singapore. I've just graduated eight months ago, and is currently working as an engineer in Singapore.
In the looks department, I'm blessed with quite pretty features, average height, and slim too. Personality-wise I’m trusting and naive, which is unfortunate. I am a proactive person, and is seeking improvement all the time.
My questions have a direct relation to what happened to me. If you recall, I met this wonderful guy (still wonderful to me) in. He ask me out, and we dated for a few months before he dumped me one night outside a bar, citing reasons like "We are moving too fast, we should start all over again." (We've kissed twice before, that's all) One hour after dumping me, he was flirting around with another girl in the bar. I found that out because I went back to the bar to look for him, wanting to agree with him and "start all over again".
I was heart-broken, because I interpreted the scene as "I meant so little to him". I went to an aunt's place to cry my heart out, and my aunt advised me to forget about him, and move on, since he has indicated that he didn't want the relationship.
Two months passed, and he did not contact me. I did not contact him as well, except for an e-mail I sent him, telling him that I still want to be friends, and if he needs someone to talk to, I’ll be there for him.
Then, a thunderbolt struck in December. I heard from the office grapevine that he was getting married to his long-time girlfriend (When we were dating, he told me that he has broken up with her for six months). I asked him out, on the pretext that I wanted to have a chat. I asked him about the status of our relationship, and he replied "We're still friends". He did not mentioned about his marriage, until I asked. I probed further, and he blurted out the "truth". He told me that his girlfriend had been pregnant with their child, but she miscarried. His parents were forcing him to get married.
He told me the incident happened before we met. He told me, he loved me, but things did not worked out as he hoped. He had to go back to his girlfriend.
I gave him one last teary hug, and said goodbye. In my mind, I told myself "I did the right thing. He belongs to another girl, who has suffered a miscarriage. She is pitiful, and she deserves him. He is a wonderful, responsible guy." I believed what I was doing was in accordance with "Dharma", even though it was so painful, to let go of something you love.
The day after, I received an e-mail from him, asking me "Can we still go out for dinner?". I discussed it with my aunt, who told me to ignore it, and not be a third-party. So I did not reply. At a company bar outing, I drank a drop too much, and did not feel well. So I went home first. He called me on my hand phone, but I did not have the courage to answer.
Two months later, I received another thunderbolt. I heard (and saw it too) that he was flirting around with a manager's personal assistant. By that time, it was public knowledge that he was getting married this coming September. He and the girl behaved as a couple during our "nights out".
Everyone in the office knows about them being together.(For me, nobody knew we were dating, because we are mobile staff, which means that almost all our colleagues were never in the office. Also, we kept a respectful distance in front of our colleagues).
It has been almost four months since he dumped me. In spite of everything, I still love him. Even though I chose to ignore him when he tried to contact me, it was a choice made out of fear that I might be doing the "wrong" thing by going out with him, because he was already engaged, and I didn't want to hurt his wife-to-be.
I am puzzled. On the one hand, he is a loving, caring person. But, by flirting with the girl, he is no longer the "wonderful, responsible" person I thought him to be. He is destroying his professional image by being with the other girl, and hurting his wife-to-be. And hurting me too. I wonder, why? What's the reason for all this doing?
1. Is he a Mr. Right, or Mr. Wrong? Even though I read your book, and asked myself the questions you posed, I still cannot identify him as Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong.
2. Did I made the right choice to give him up, and in doing so, did I gave another girl the chance (the girl he's currently with)?
3. Did I handle the situation correctly? If so, why am I still so miserable? If not, why?
4. Should I try to win him back? But, I meant so little to him.
5. Is he worth it?
I must be honest with you. I so badly want to know the answers to those questions above that I can never be in peace until I do. I want to break out of this vicious cycle. A voice in me shouted "I want the truth, no matter how much it hurts".
He brought out the best in me. I am the Me + A Boyfriend = Me (+) + A Boyfriend. I cannot deny that my feelings for him are still strong, in spite of what you mentioned in the book about being overwhelmed by love. I tried my best to be a wonderful girlfriend. But I..guess I failed terribly.
Does the problem lie with me or him? Is there a second chance for us?
Right now, there are other guys after me. But these are not sincere guys.
They attempted to flirt with me, then pick up another girl in the evening. I dare not associate with them much less use them for "practice". Am I right to think that way?
On a d different note, I wonder "Can a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship be sustainable without sex?" I have always imposed the standard "I must be a virgin on my wedding night". But I do not see it as a burden. I enjoy imposing this standard on myself (Vanity, maybe). I know that I cannot bring myself to have sex with a man before marriage. Hence, the question above.
You mentioned about the correct "tao te in sex", by citing an example of a lady boss and her unwilling subordinate. What is the message behind it? I am so confused about so many things that light shed by a guiding lamp would mean much to me.
Thank you for taking time to read this. I eagerly await your reply.
I wish you and husband Curt all the best in career and marriage.
Date: Friday, March 03, 2000 9:55 AM
Subject: Re: Chin-Ning's Reply to the Light from a Guiding Lamp
You are such a courageous lady to share yourself so honestly. As you saidabout yourself "I am trusting and naive". Here is your answer.
1) You trusted a selfish, self-centered, inconsiderate womanizer, who is also a great actor and is able to con you and other women into thinking he is a nice and sweet man with high integrity.
2) You are so naive that any man could put on a good act for you and you believe them, which I can understand. I used to be like you, too. An honest woman like yourself would never lie to a man to hurt him deliberately. So you believe since you won't do this to others, therefore they won't do it to you. Wake up girl and go get yourself a "Thick Face, Black Heart" book and read it a couple of times.
3) He's definitely Mr. Wrong. How could you even question it. Listen to your aunt's advice. She knows.
4) You made a great choice to give him up and whoever catches him will be eternally cursed.
5) The reason that you're so miserable is because you are loving, trusting and naive. You will meet other guys who will hurt you, too, but you get used to it. Don't take all your relationships so deadly serious.
The dharma of love is to love, pamper and honor yourself. When a guy disrespects you totally like he has done, walk out. You definitely do not want him back because he is not worth it. Maybe 20 or 30 years later you'll still be thinking about him. Call him then and try him out. You will find out that he is a selfish and lousy lover or 30 years later you will look back at this incident and find that it was a comic episode.
6) Stop chanting, "I am so confused". The way you get unconfused is to declare that you are not confused and that you will work it out in time. It is okay to not know everything at this moment. You have to be patient. Let the universe teach you about life.
Dear Ms Chin.
I have been reading your book "Thick Face Black Heart." I have been through a terrible divorce and have suffered much. Your book has helped me wonderfully. Please keep an helping and writing for souls like me.
God Bless You always.
At tint the Title actually upset me but as I read the book 1 year after buying it. I realized that it was wonderful.
God Bless You.
Dear Ms Chin-Ning Chu,
THANK YOU so much for your wonderful books...especially Thick Face, Black Heart. I have benefited so much I shall be eternally grateful to you. I am still drawing from it wisdom for my daily living...more so after I suddenly lost my job last week. (It was the most unfair and humiliating treatment I have ever got in my entire life.)
I still feel like the world has ended for me but I'm trying hard to keep my chin up and fight bravely.
GOD BLESS YOU & may more people in the world get to know your books and benefit from them!
You are brilliant! You are GOD-sent!
Dear Chin-Ning: (I really feel that I know you so well )
I really wished that I have known you earlier, much earlier. About two weeks ago, in a Hong Kong bookstore while I was searching books that are translated into Chinese from authors like Anthony Robins and Stephen Covey for my Chinese family members. I found you. One of the best gift from God!
Started to read your book on the airplane back to the States, I could not stop reading and I continued when I got back. I could not believe my eyes!!! Asking myself, how come I did not get to know you before until now. It is a silly question to myself. But I felt such a great loss of not to getting you years ago. I came from China, lived here for over 10 years, yet I lived in my Chinese creed such as , do great work let your work speak for you, be in harmony with the people you work with and don't fret the small things as excuse to avoid confrontation,..... and much much more Chinese thinking that are totally non value added for this culture and business world. I cried many times when I have been stepped on when I put my best effort and thought for others. I have been shocked many times by some co-workers I have worked with that are extreme short sighted and money driven. (Not to say all Americans are that way.) I had all the capabilities very few people have in the company yet they are so good at talking without even much doing.
Well, you probably heard too much from all the Asians and Chinese, but you are the one that took Some Dramatic Move to do something about that!!! Because of you, sooooo many people benefit from you, Americans, Chinese and of Course not to exclude many Asians.
By the way, I got your Thick Face and Black Heart book first and just bought the second book of yours: The Asian Mind Game. I will also enjoy your Do less, Achieve More. I have to tell you the minute I got back from the States, I called everybody from family back in China to go buy your book.
I have to thank you for life for your great insights, encourage and effort to write these books. I will definitely make a huge difference in my life. It started already to rock me now to challenge myself to get out of my cocoon and get to know what an American people would think, not just what I like to think and what I thought is right.
As a result, I determine that I have to take some actions too, dramatic ones!! You have been a mentor I have looked for years. I am inspired and hugely benefited from your experience, your observation and your great insights you presented in the books. I believe that I can learn from you and also do something like you to share my experience and let more people get to know you. Even more so, I am determined to sharing my experience for others to learn.
I know it will not be an easy journey. But all what you have done though I don't know all besides your book, inspired me greatly. I believe that you have a lot more to offer from your book already.
Chin-Ning, you have already made a difference in my life and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am also so touched by the story of your life. Your picture on this web page is really great. I hope to see you in person soon. I would like to keep in touch with you.
Wish you all the best!!!
Dear Chin-Ning Chu,
I have just finished reading The Secrets of the Rainmaker and I felt the need to send you a message.
I have read Thick Face Black Heart some six months ago and found it very disturbing in it's intensity and truthfulness. It touched my heart and scrambled my intellect in a way I thought was not possible. I have readmany books by many different management/motivational authors over the years but have never felt as challenged as I did with Thick Face Black Heart.
I have been traveling along a similar path (to you) for many years and your work, both in Thick Face Black Heart and now The Secrets of the Rainmaker have clarified what my intuition and spiritual nature have been trying to tell me ever since I became aware of my personal growth.
Seeing my thoughts and feelings expressed in words by someone else has given me a new sense of clarity and purpose in my chosen work.
All I can say is - THANK YOU!
Dear Ms. Chin-Ning,
Thank you for reply my E-mail, I am So glad to hear that, "Thick Face Black Heart" is my favorite book in the whole world, I really enjoyed it, I saw this book two years ago when I came to the US, the book help me a lot at everything..
I really want to talk to you in person if you have time..
Date: Friday, July 21, 2000 9:37 AM
Dear Ms. Chu,
Many thanks for bringing the world the possibility message in your book, Do Less, Achieve More. I was particularly struck with the story of the man who was shamed as a boy for wanting a huge house. I work with parents across the country to empower them to keep those dreams alive in their children.....not stamp out their natural visions, enthusiasm, spirit.
I will refer subscribers of my newsletter, 20,000 or so, to this book and your work.
Please keep me apprised of upcoming events you
might be giving.
Blessings and light on your work,
September 26, 1999
To Chin-Ning Chu
I must say "thank you" to you for writing this marvellous book "The Rain Maker".
I would like to impart a little information as to how I came to read this book and how deeply it has effected me.
I first saw a vision of me as a teacher when I was twelve years old. Not a school teacher but never the less a teacher. I saw my self in front of groups of people, writing on a board and literally teaching. When I was in my early twenties with two small children, I saw myself in business and in an office environment. This in itself is not extremely significant to me at the time as I had worked in a factory since I left school at fourteen, then got married and had two children - until you look at me today. I am now in my mid fifties at a point where no-one wants to employ me anymore as they say I am too old, and in the last three years I am not only teaching people about small business but I also have my office and have just launched a Business Referal Network. It is still in it's early stages and extremely difficult at the moment, however, it is just the beginning.
Back to how this E-mail came about. I was doing a Network presentation for a person in the area of small business development, when I stated that I strongly believe that I was put on this earth to help people become successful in their businesses. How I was going to achieve this was through the Network.
But exactly how was yet to be determined, all I knew was that I was exactly where I was meant to be at this stage of my life.
He recommended that I read "The Secrets of the Rainmaker" and "Thick Face Black Heart", so as I am an avid reader of everything that would add value to people's lives in whatever they pursue particularly in the area of small business (which has a success rate of 24% in the first year of business and 10% in year five, here in Australia) I went out and bought " The Rainmaker and The Asian Mind Game, ( Thick Face Black Heart had sold out).
Well! you can imagine the shock of reading about all the things that I knew in my heart to be true and there it was in print. It was as if my whole life had been laid out in this book. I read it and understood exactly what it was all about. From this revelation, I believe I still have two more steps to take and in some way this is part of those steps. How and why I don't know but I do know that I am following the path laid out for me.
So I must say "Thank You" I have always known deep in my heart the things you talk about and I know that each hardship I face is just another step I must take. To now be able to understand all this through reading your book, and to be able to pass it on to others who are desperately struggling in their business is to have given me a "miracle" I feel it is the answer to my search.
I wish you every success, now and in the future.
Date: Tuesday, May 16, 2000
Dear Chin-Ning Chu,
Long time ago I started to read books about alternative thinking and met also important people, which gave me impulses on my way. Your book I got at the right time, when I needed it most. I am open and ready to get to know not only a new world but also to work in the areas which demand me and make success possible. To find this way in my near future your book was very important for me and I have learnt not to dream any longer but to make dreams come true if possibilities arise. You helped me to disengage from my fears and insecurity and to believe in me and in the way which seems to be predestined for me.
On 28th June I go to L.A. for several months or even for longer. From my USA stay I expect to perfect my English language and new challenges in the areas to be able to assume journalism and movie - therefore the duration of my journey is not limited (it may last longer, too)! In Austria (it is a little country in Europe, I am not living in Australia - a lot of people mix up these two countries "smile") I have professionally arrived to limits where I don't see any actual further development. Neither as journalist for the ORF (Austrian broadcasting corporation - Radio and Television, Vienna) nor at the translation into action of new ideas in artistic areas. With my visionary thoughts and ideas for future oriented projects in Austria I often seem to bump on rejection and lack of interest everywhere. Little risk readiness indicates unfortunately the Austrian society. One more reason for me enriching my life with new impulses.
I hope possibilities arise (with my journalists visa) to be able to create a longer stay in L.A. Moreover I want to follow my special interest for direction - in the beginning direction assistance, of course - in form of a traineeship. I will try to find a director who I may accompany and support during an entire movie project (learning by doing), because in the meantime I have the feeling of too much superficiality in the journalism work, but at the moment I don't have enough power to change this. Moreover I plan to write a book about the European Hollywood dreamers, over their initial difficulties, their reasons to give up and about those, who got over hard times and are today happy with their life and work or are even stars. I want to write this book as honest as possible. For this reason in my opinion it is very important, that I am going to try these steps by myself, too.
At the moment I am busy with all my preparations and at constant investigation. Sometimes the large flood of information (at present) threatens me to roll over. But: never before I felt as much joy over the 'snow-ball-system' as intensively as in the last weeks. I got to know so much people who are trying to help me with contacts in L.A., that sometimes it is hard for me to believe it. Thank you for changing my thinking! When I will receive my new e-mail-address in the end of June, I will send it to you.
Best greetings from Vienna,
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